I want to sincerely thank all who have asked me this
question. Such an easy question to ask that holds so much weight. This question
can be extremely difficult to answer at times and at other times very easy. It
has plucked me from the deepest depths of sorrow, causing me to look at my
circumstances and not be drowned by them. It has caused me to try to be fully honest
about what I am feeling and not shy away from the sometimes ugly truth of my feelings. It has caused me to really see how God is working. So thank you, from
the bottom of my heart, thank you. Please keep asking. Sometimes I may not want
to answer as the truth is painful. Sometimes I won’t give details because there
are some things better left unsaid. Sometimes I may really be okay. And
sometimes I may let loose with all that is inside of me. Either way this
question holds great significance for me. Please know that....so you know what
you're getting into when you ask ;)
In the first entry I said I would be completely honest...so here goes.
How am I? Some days are easier than others. Each day is a new day and I really try not to go past that. Some days I don't want to start another day. I wake up and look over and see that I am still alone. My best friend is miles away. Our communication is limited. I haven't held his hand in since February 7th. The little things I took for granted are magnified in his absence and I am reminded of this daily. There are no words to describe how much I miss him.
Yet, however painful some days are, I am good because God is good. (And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28) His strength is what gets me up and moving daily. The promise of His care is what reassures me that I can get through this and I am not alone. As crazy as this may sound, I wouldn't change this. I do pray away the pain that can become unbearable, but deep down I hear His voice and I know this is just as it should be. I get to live the verses that I have read. "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-7, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9. I get to be blanketed in God’s presence daily!
“Consider
it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,
whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your
faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,
not lacking anything.”
James 1:2-4.
Oh what a promise! I believe it and I will choose to live it. God is good, this is good, and it will be good.
How am I?....Good, because God is good.
In the first entry I said I would be completely honest...so here goes.
How am I? Some days are easier than others. Each day is a new day and I really try not to go past that. Some days I don't want to start another day. I wake up and look over and see that I am still alone. My best friend is miles away. Our communication is limited. I haven't held his hand in since February 7th. The little things I took for granted are magnified in his absence and I am reminded of this daily. There are no words to describe how much I miss him.
Yet, however painful some days are, I am good because God is good. (And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28) His strength is what gets me up and moving daily. The promise of His care is what reassures me that I can get through this and I am not alone. As crazy as this may sound, I wouldn't change this. I do pray away the pain that can become unbearable, but deep down I hear His voice and I know this is just as it should be. I get to live the verses that I have read. "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-7, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9. I get to be blanketed in God’s presence daily!
Oh what a promise! I believe it and I will choose to live it. God is good, this is good, and it will be good.
How am I?....Good, because God is good.
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